| (no subject) |
[Mar. 20th, 2009|08:38 pm] |
Bad news.
I think I'm getting depressed.
Hmm. I should change this. |
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| "I tried to imitate you and I ended up pulling a muscle." |
[Mar. 17th, 2009|12:40 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
I figured out that I do this thing from time to time where I get so absolutely lazy and pointless, and I try to, and I ignore calls and I sleep a lot and maybe eat more than I should and at the end of this time I spend I feel so absolutely disgusted that it forces me out and that strange little thing that I do provides me with more concentration and gusto and verve and will and motivation than just going on a steady stream of neutrality between productivity and time-wasting.
And maybe what I do isn't even that productive to the highly-work-empowered society than I'm imbued with. But I find what I do quite wonderful.
Also, my friends are dead. Well, maybe, but maybe I killed myself in my group of friends and now I've found other people that I can actually get along with for more than a few tense hours.
I thought that my last real break-up would kill me.
I'm totally thrilled to see that it hasn't.
OK! Now I'm going to be productive. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 16th, 2009|02:24 am] |
good morning livejournal;
- caleb is made out of a bad time over and over again, like falling down a flight of stairs that's inside of a time machine.
- my old group of friends is hard to come by but that is by no means a reason to give up on making lasting connections because at least most of them (if you try hard enough or something) will last for a little bit.
- minneapolis feels good.
- i can finally wake up without a lot of yelling or banging or nagging and i don't sleep-cry when i don't get enough, i'm finally a woman !
- spring's tomorrow.
- duluth feels good.
- rochester still feels good.
- i don't know if the pacific feels good, but i will soon.
- i have so many fluctuating, fleeting feelings for so many different people all the time after the fact. (that big fact, you know) now they're settling on one person. i'm a little apprehensive, but i live in right now, right here, i'm not worried
- i quit my job a long time ago
- i miss being close with chelsey.
- i don't know how to talk to henry anymore and it's killing me,
- sam freaks me out.
- ian is ian.
- i love spicy food now.
- i tell rachel that i'm real happy that she's moving, and she should, everyone should, but i'm real crushed by it.
- i need to write my more music.
- i'm still 19.
i don't know if i am afraid of change.
i'm excited.
i'm also nervous.
but i'm glad that i'm not bleeding into my stomach all the time anymore over it.
-megn
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| well, |
[Sep. 22nd, 2008|12:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
it's been a whole year or more, livejournal. i'll be 19 in a month or so..hmm...
- i have a job at a silly sushi bar that i don't like that much and don't do that well at
- i am still living at the house o carboys
- i suck at highschool
- my drinking isn't that bad nowadays
- i have some neat friends, most of which are the same (ian, brad, caleb, newbies sam and henry)
- i've been "dating" (i prefer the term "devotion-while-maintaining-a-steady-sense-of- friendship but we can't all be technical) caleb for about 8 or 9 months now and am very happy 8)
- my life ain't so bad
- my mom remarried
- i'm not looking forward to the snow-driven bitternut winter (mostly just the bitter part)
- i still don't sleep when i should
goodnight! it was good talkin to you lj
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 26th, 2007|10:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my fucking house | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hah | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the.mountain.goatss | ] |
i'm 18 years old, boys are ridiculous, everything about me before was also pretty lame, i'm awesome, you're probably ok, i have better things to do than to write in this thing all the time i bet. you bet? i bet we bet. !
x
lkmsdlkmsadlmkasdklndgvkjdfngbkndfbl.kdfngvnggnlngrjlgnerg
i type crazzyyyyndksjfnksdjnf fast.
adam and james are pretty ok people though. as they're sitting right next to me they probably wanna know how cool they are, they've been downgraded, but not in my  's  .
it's time to get real.
i'll.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................get back to this.
ps. ginifer if you still read this shit i had a dream about you the other night and it was very pertinent and i need to see you sometime. even if you're going to college forever and don't believe in friendship. HAhaH
x
meg |
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| turns out |
[Jul. 27th, 2007|04:46 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | big black coffin - peter bjorn & john | ] |
that god's away on business. (business).
that whole. manitoba thing. isn't going to work. yeah i know right. 8( but....i guess the major and really great upside (YIPPEE) is that DANDY!
DANIEL
mister
DEWAR
is coming to see me
!ME!
in september. that's pretty much essentially almost practically NOW!
it was really comforting, i mean, honestly, because i thought up 'til that point that i was investing too much into the situation and that i was probably getting my hopes up and that it was just a "it was fun while it lasted" kind of thing and you know, who knows, that might be true, but i'm willing to bet that after he comes here maybe he'll like me still too. i like me, i'm pretty great. i have skills. not like, "skillz," those are pretty purchasable. but skills, i bet i could impress him with a couple-a-things. and well, i'm totally enamoured, no hiding that.
and he's even willing to sacrifice a week of his life to come to boring hospital town! just to see a silly girl who's falling for him a thousand miles away.
he speaks so.....well, jeez, i mean, you gotta meet him, lj.
HE KEPT HIS TWINE RING!!!
me too
i'd take a picture, but .... effortttt eckkk
see we tied these little itty bitty twine bits to each others' married fingers and married each other to each other to promise to see each other again and since we haven't yet i haven't taken mine off and he told me he hasn't EITHER!
i ain't no heart-twistah
sistah!
!
8) so, despite being terribly heartbroken over all my hard work that i did trying to get everthing together for this little inlove excursion, i'm pretty relieved because now i can read and paint and do the things that i wanted to do before the summer before i (fellinlove) met someone special.
on another note, i'm really melancholy 'cause meghan and stephan leave soon and it's gonna be sadder than i thought, yeah? i know. just me, derek n' neb. but that's such an odd group, yes? two 30something year olds; one, a mad scientist and the other a coffee-shop working introvert, add a mildly hyperactive-artarchist 17yrold girl and you have......the weirdest house of roommates i've ever heard of. plus, 4 chickens. this is gonna get nuts!!
meghan and stephan were kind of the glue in a way so we'll see how things are once they're gone. lord knows i'll miss them very much but i hope to see them again. i wish them SO much luck and love.
ok, it's late, i got art center things to do tomorrow, as YUUUsual.
love,
margoorite |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 10th, 2007|05:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | ferret island | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  good | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the shins i guess | ] |
GUESS WHO'S COMING FOR DINNER
i'm going to canada
if you live in canada,
more particularly,
in manitoba, you should let me know
because that's where i'm going.
win
ni
peg
where all the winners go.
improve. improving message to myself about improvement! try hard to be better, self, because if you can't do that then you really are pointless. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 29th, 2007|10:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
hi!
i....
believe in a few things,,
i also believe in you, livejournal. i bet you'll pull through just like this pizza that's about to make its debut appearance right in neb's room for hungry hungry hippo mouths, chomp chomp chomp.
chomp.
chomp.
chomp. chomp.
and, well, i bet i've been neglectful, i bet, but i also hapen to believe that it's about time to start a riot.
a rye-otte. perhaps some biscottis, some rye bread and if you tried hard enough i bet that we could really try to start some self-sufficiantriotwherenobodyhasnamesanymore.
i bet i smoke too much,
i bet i also stopped caring a lot about a lot of things that i really didn't need to be worrying about in the first place.
my mom went through my room and she threw away more than 3/4ths of my belongings, including my clothes and i was seriously considering its wonder that she granted me because i guess it really does take someone else to be able to throw away that kind of stuff, i mean it is kind of annoying to have thatmuch burdened upon yourself, but who really ever wakes up in the morning and says hey, ithink i 'm gonna throw away all my stuff.
i would be a really good transciptionist, i bet.
it's....bout time to end it,though.
i like your nose on mine, i also like
thanks! and i think that i might be ------- -- ---- ---- ---. is that too much? i bet it's too much, but even so, i'm not one to stifle. ((oneself.))
love,
marguerite. |
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| hey long time no seeee! |
[Mar. 4th, 2007|04:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | marie antoinette menu screen | ] |
hey lj!
what's going on?
well, i've been pretty good. i was horrible for a while, i guess, and i guess i could've treated people better or talked more or been more dependable, but, you know, we all screw up and i guess i just screw up more than usual.
i'm slowing down on drinking, because hell, (and shit) i guess my liver just can't TAYKE ITTTTTTTT
i just finished watching>>>>
and
and
with adam. i'm gonna go eat with him now, i thinks. and rent amadeus.
ORGANIC NUM NUMS!!___
were tasty. i'm getting an art show, interning is great, i still love rochester, my friends are awesome, ian's going to college, scott stulen is a really big geek, the juried art show went well, pierrer water is GROSS, all my friends got evicted, i'm making moremroeoromore art, i'm not as depressed as i was a little while ago, i should probaaaaaaly STILL get a job, my new friend tyler is "SUPAHH DREAMY..wait no he's not,,guys at the mall areeee!!--__"
seeee ya l8r ladiezzzz |
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| ! |
[Jan. 15th, 2007|11:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | peaceful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | black star - christopher o'riley | ] |
everything is really, really great.
:}
2007 is beginning and is not even starting to end, but so far, let me tell YOU, it's going great;;;
it's going to be a good and sleepy year {{{yawn}}}
LOVEmarguerite |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 9th, 2006|09:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | crushed | ] |
i'm never trusting men (or women again) and i don't think i'll ever cry, either.
see, it's pretty hard when you try to get close to someone you originally were very/pretty close to in the past and try to pick up from there, and, sure, you get in a lot, you even bond a little, but ....augh, it's not even worth re-explaining.
the thing is, i'll never hop a train in my whole life because if it hurts his heart then it'll definitely hurt mine. (so there's no point, you see.)
SIGH. i'm hungover. WHAT NEWS.
-marguerite |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2006|01:21 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | hungry | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | pokemon battle frontier ! :D | ] |
i am really, really excited for christmas -- soo much.
i guess doug really does read my journal. heyyyy. what's up. i haven't spent my booze money on booze yet, but...don't worry, it's gonna happen. !
ok, so, nevertheless, i'm in a lot of pain. my back sucks.
the apartment is alright. they need furniture.
i love downtown in the winter with the lights and the...well, yeah.
caleb and i are becoming grossly good friends. i love caleb?
"it's strange how people can be so enticed by coloured illumination?!" his reaction to tons of christmas lights and my "ooh"-ing. what a fucking pessimist.
i'm going to drink egg nog and eat iced sugar cookies until i get diabetes. TRY AND STOP ME. :} |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 1st, 2006|11:27 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  numb | ] |
i'm seriously wondering whether or not to drink and drink and drink so much this weekend so as though i no longer have expectations and people can't tell me that i may be developing a problem, because i know i'm not, but i also know i'd like to drink until i was dead.
is this odd?
it's not an urge to die,
but of course it is.
a lot of the time i'd like not to be alive anymore.
and then more of the time i'm wishing i would spend more time quelling the previous desire.
who knows.
i'm getting 40$ worth of alcohol for nikki's house and matt's new apt.
adam's going to the cities and i already fucking flipped out because of cramps, no sleep, no food, too much nicotine, etc. i freaked and cried and he says to me, he says, "meg, you are kind of starting to sound like an alcoholic." and then my mother said the same thing and who knows, maybe.
but i definitely wouldn't be an alcoholic if i was writing about it on the INTERNET.
i wrote a story and it was very good. i entranced people, but i've decided that if i write a narrative and it is read incorrectly, i immediately veto that speaker and demand that we utulise my story as a creative performance art exercise demonstrated in class. i'm becoming more and more adament about art, i'm told more often that either a.) my artwork is amazing or b.) it isn't art at all. who knows what to believe, because honestly, what i'm doing isn't for me, guys, it's for you. i'm too muddled up to do it for myself right now, so i'm giving it my all and i'll shove it into your open, greedy palms until you unbeknowest to yourself, take my artwork and praise or criticise it.
i'm rambling and i want a drink.
oh, jeez. well, caleb is wrong. i do love adam. very, very much.
no question.
a year next month............yep. already?! already.
but despite relationship happiness, i'm desperately implosive and wildly, "wave-my-arms-arounnd" self destructive.
nap until school. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2006|11:15 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | camille - janine | ] |
i cut off all my hair; i am now breathing this new air. it's pretty cold. (mostly around my ears, though)
i sold a painting for 200$ and i'm spending most of it on alcohol. i'm going to get wasted and sit in a half-heated apartment 3/4s of my winter break. i am going to have an epiphane if it kills me.
-miss "nastalgia's got foto fingahz" marguerite |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 20th, 2006|07:56 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | cough cough | ] |
i want to cut off all my hair and breathe in new air. |
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| so... |
[Nov. 19th, 2006|05:22 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  & kind of drunk | ] |
so, i'va had some dreams about blowing my brains out (literally, you know, there was some gta involved too) but it had a strange, euphoric feeling attatched to it, like i had been wrapped up in a blanket in front of a bonfire and my shoulders were being rubbed. i started losing my hearing and all i could hear was my heart slowing down and blood pouring (very far away, anyway) onto the seat cushion. but i steered the car and called my mom and told her i had just shot myself with a revolver in the temple and she said something to the effect of "we'll, i'll try to schedule an appointment or something, but, i dunno. i'm kind of busy." but even though this is all extremely vague and morbid, the dream itself is ridiculously comforting. a small, 2-month old papillion puppy is licking my nostril and making me feel great. i just drank a lot of gin.
i've gotten a lot of work done this week. inch by inch show is up and nikki and i (illegally) want to move into the art center's freight elevator becuse it's terribly roomy. happy 10 months, adam and i. :}
i've made a lot of mistakes this week. i've felt nastalgic this week. i switched back to marlboros this week. i'm kind of drunk this week. i should've been drunker this week. i hope this 2-month old papillion puppy isn't peeing on my lap this week.
catch you later, kids.
(i also had a permiscious dream pertaining to salvador dali and thigh stroking, but we'll just skip over that one. on a note pertaining to this, i'm sure he'd be proud of me. and i promise, salvador! i'm no dalist!) |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 10th, 2006|04:05 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | pleased | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz | ] |
hey hey!
i fixed my eljay. now i show up on your friends' page?? if so LEAVE ME A COMMENT? i like those since i haven't gotten them in like, a year. D:
anyway, it are snowtastic........outside. :O and it's nice! i even got an excused absence because i can't get out of my neighbourhood. :3 fufufu.
ok~ eggnog time. how are all of you?? :D |
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| oh my sweet never again HAHA |
[Nov. 8th, 2006|10:09 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | exbusyhasted | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | oil forming on my eyelids | ] |
whaat? 70 degrees tomorrow? stop taunting me, mother nature, you're making me feel fresh and rejuvinated already....GERGH! i have such mixed feelings about the weather. all at once i want tons and tons and tons of snow for christmas and bundling and getting warm and coccoa, and then the next i can't wait for ...jesus i don't know. it to melt and it to be almost kind of sunny and graduating out of my 11th year. (or remembering last year. why do i get so heavily nastalgic for things that were horrible?)
anyway, the dreds are coming nice, the starbux thing is going ok, intership @ the art center is as always, ian has been royally pissing in my asshole with bitchocity lately. ERGH! i get him high/drunk ONE TIME and that's all he wants to do, but in half-seriousness?? and it's like, fuck you guy, i have tons of fucking ART AND HOMEWORK TO DO, THX, not to mention i have a million other things that sit around in nikki's blazer getting blazed (no pun...haha whatever totally pun intended). as much fun as that is (AND FUCKING, DAMNIT IT IS FUN TO SLACK OFF LIKE THAT AUGhhgh) but he has to get out of highschool as much as i want to keep him there and introducing him to drugs right before he graduates was a horrible idea and i don't know why i did it. not to mention that other people blame me for it?!? augh. it's not like i forced a piece in his mouth or handed him a beer and threatened to harm him if he didn't ingest mood-altering chemicals. anyway, sorry, that was GAY AS HELL
i, on the other hand, other than supreme tiredocity for being too overworked and way too underprioritizey, am doing pretty ok. been frustrated with art lately because i have no motor-skills and small things are REQUIRED in my art (for now anyway) but it seems as though i lack the motor skills to do them, which is why i'm def not going to go to school drunk for a while.
PHEW! anywayyyayay! birthday was great, i love my friends, halloween was a blast, i love my boyfriend because he's a swiper of meg-breath, i still love my school/teachers/classes, i might have a permit soon, my ear's getting better, i'm gonna try to go to bed earlier, i 95% chance (THIS TIME IT'S 4REAL) have a job (!?!?! can i handle this? augh!) and etc.
well, sometimes i get drunk on the weekends and cry about my dad, but other than that, i've been holding up. :}
OH and the girlband is going okiedokie. rhebz got kicked out of her place (probably not) and we might/might not have practice there on thurs. that or we'll kick it at elmo's. :} the jelly queens is a living dream and i am PROUD. 7 chords of glory never tasted so good and believe me when i say that maybe i'll actually stick with something you know. ;}
wow this is an actual post!~C?? i never do those. uhmm, my cats give each other rim jobs, i'm tired, cheese pizza and orange bedsheets are great, nummynummy nightnightbye.
-meg.
ps. switching bak2 marlboros for the winter for nastalgia's sake ~&~ DAMNIT JORDAN GAYLES WE ARE -SEEING- THE 5TH HARRY POTTER MOVIE IN THEATRES ~&~ i love all of you ~&~ i'm forgetting something. :'} |
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| OMG 17 NO RLY????/? |
[Oct. 27th, 2006|12:47 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | mellow | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | MMMRmrmaarrhu BLEND cat battles | ] |
googling happy birthday always getcha good results.
anyway, yes. happi boss-dei to me. OFFCURSE, i am going to have a swell time.
what will i DO for my birthday, you ask??
- go to school.
- not have my drawing sketchbook done.
- do things.
- evade closed lunch.
- kick myself for missing my last chance to run for student council. :[
- wait for the day to end.
- get out of school.
- get NIKKI TO PICK ME UP. \^0^/ & probably, derek, ian and jessamyn too.
- do things downtown including stopping by the art-centre and letting all the higher-ups know that it's my BOSS-DEI and telling them they're horrible for not knowing. then, get laughed at.
- dunno.
- decide where to eat for BOSS-DEI DINNAR W/FAMFAM.
- go see ADAM'S MOM AND HIT HER UP FOR CASH MONEY. (for bossdei.)
- uhhhhhhhhh, conserve money?? *SNORT*
- call everyone who didn't wish me a HAPPI BOSS-DEI and yell at them.
- see adam. (this just became nonchronological.)
- eat dinner with famfam.
- don't know.
SAT?!
- lots of things. who knows.
- a SMALL amount of party hopping. probably gonna make nikki drive.
- see burraduh.
- play okami/pokemon.
- ffffffeeed cats.
- do art in between these things probably maybe.
YEP. BYE.
ps. u suk. D:
love,
meg |
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| ONLY 4 MORE@22!!!!!111 |
[Oct. 22nd, 2006|11:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  POKéMON. | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | @@. THAT'S FUCKING FUNNY. HAH. ST4W W4RZ. | ] |
first of all, i hate doctors and their offices, but not their stickers, or the electronic weights.
but i hate nurses. well, not my mom.
i hate drunk not-dads, except for those named doug.
i love people who are pretty much harry but in the past but in the future because ...well, you get it lj.
i also. well, hold on.
MY BIRTHADAY IS FRIDAY.
good.
yes.
blender and toaster are getting along fine. i have been fucking sick. sick sick sick. sick as hell sick as shit i didn't get anything done, fucking stupid, shit shit, i love pokémon, sick shit dribbling out of my cat's ass shit fuck stupid.
but mostly, i'm sick of bitches.
bitches and hos.
well, wait, that was the best thing ever.
but overall, this is making me have mixed feelings.
anyway.
IT'S GONNA BE OK!
stupendously, richly, amazingly, vengefully ok.
-meg |
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margoorite's journal
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